In 2021, a long-held wish of mine became a reality. After introducing my fourth child to the world, I became a stay-at-home mom, finally living the life I had always wanted. It came with so many blessings, but—there’s always a but. You know when they say, be careful what you wish for? Well, being a SAHM was not for the weak.
For the first few weeks after giving birth, life was all about feeding, changing diapers, and putting my newborn to sleep. But with three other kids in the mix, it wasn’t just about adjusting to a newborn—it was about managing an entire household in the midst of the Covid Era. Adding another child to the team brought a whole new level of motherhood.
I quickly became lost in motherhood, though I didn’t realize it at the time. My world revolved around my children 24/7, and new struggles surfaced in our family. I felt like I was drowning under the weight of responsibilities.
Waking up early for feedings, getting my oldest ready for school, making breakfast (if I had time), dressing the younger ones, loading them into the car for school drop-off, unloading them when we got home—then doing it all over again for pick-up. The house needed to be cleaned, meals cooked, laundry done, homework checked, school events attended. Emergencies popped up constantly. It was never-ending.
One day, I just… stopped. I sat on the couch, watched Netflix, took a nap. The house became a mess, dishes piled up, and I didn’t have the energy to clean—maybe on the weekend. Some chores, like cooking and laundry, had to get done, but everything else? I had no motivation for it. My routine was all over the place. The only thing I looked forward to was naps.
I was living with postpartum depression. And I faked it so well, no one noticed.
The only thing my life consisted of was motherhood.
I don’t remember exactly when I snapped out of it. But I think it started after a girls’ night with my friend Lorenza. I opened up about how I’d been feeling, and she casually mentioned postpartum depression (PPD). I immediately denied it. I’m happy. Everything is fine.
But later that night, I looked it up. And every symptom described me.
I didn’t tell my doctor—I had my reasons. Past experiences made me hesitant, and I didn’t want to invite more trouble into my life. But for the first time, I acknowledged it: PPD is real. And I have it.
I turned to Pinterest, searching how to fix PPD. I found blog after blog from moms sharing their struggles and tips on how they overcame it. I even read medical articles from certified professionals. But talking about it wasn’t an option. If you’re Hispanic, you already know—people don’t take depression seriously. You get told, you’re just being lazy or suck it up and get to it.
I didn’t want to burden my husband with my problems, either.
Then, we moved. Our small townhome was too cramped for a family of six, and getting a bigger place lifted a massive weight off my shoulders.
During one of my endless searches for ways to improve motherhood, I kept seeing one word over and over again: routines.
That’s it! I realized I had been surviving, not living. I kind of had a routine, but I was so overwhelmed that I kept losing sight of it. I also started searching for SAHM jobs, but then I questioned myself—How can I get a job if I can’t even manage my household?
And that’s when it hit me.
My home was my wish.
I wanted to be a SAHM. So why wasn’t I happy? What happened?
I made a decision: I would start embracing the life I had wished for. The only way to make it work was to take care of it.
So, I asked myself: If this were my business, how would I treat it?
It might sound odd, but running a home is like running a business. I’m the manager, and my children are my employees. (Even if their only “jobs” are small chores, the irony is still there.) As soon as I put this mindset to work, things started shifting. Even my kids noticed the change.
All I had to do was treat my home like a job—something that needs to get done, something that needs to be taken care of. If I ever wanted to build something outside of motherhood, I had to start by mastering my first “business.”
Motherhood comes with everything—love, chaos, exhaustion, responsibility—but out of all the roles I’ve ever had, this is the only one I’ve done for free. Well, other than my husband spoiling me every other day. But with everything that comes with being a mom, I’ve come to realize:
This life is the dream I once wished for. And now, I choose to embrace it.
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